Crump Family Introductions: Little Brother

I would like for you to meet my little brother, Weeyum. Or William, as I like to call him.
He is currently employed at The Pizza Hut. My mother puts the word "The" in front of everything... let's go to "The Wal-Mart," etc. So, it's THE Pizza Hut. THE special one that is blessed with my brother's skillz.
William is so much cooler than me. I remember being jealous of him growing up. He had all of the hip, new trends from Hollister and Abercrombie (he worked at both for brief periods of time) and had party friends. Evidence: the above picture stolen from his myspace entitled "BEER FACE" and the pictures of him with girls in bras and bikinis just chillin' at parties. I'll spare you those pictures.

One time my brother fake ran away from home when he was seven or eight. He took a giant garbage bag and put all of our telephones and a loaf of bread in it and went walking down the street. He didn't get very far before my mom pulled up in her white nissan and made him get in.

Some girls wait for their knight in shining armor to arrive on a white horse. My brother waits for my mom in her white nissan. Same thing.


Also, he likes to date girls with babies.