Dear Commercial America

You're not fooling anybody: for instance, when I go into Walmart and pick up a bottle of your oh-too-early-to-be-on-the-bottle-yet Santa Coca-Cola, you can say Holiday 2009 all you want, but when you write in Spanish "Feliz Navidad," we know what you're saying: Merry Christmas. Literally, Happy Nativity; either way, you're celebrating Christmas. So what? Now we gringos can't celebrate Christmas? Give me a break. You know, I was looking forward to drowning in the delicious sugary syrup that is Coca-Cola, and I say that with all honesty, but just because of that ridiculous commercial ploy, I may just change what I drink this season. Jameson's anyone??

On a similar note, I was staring oddly at my Wendy's cup tonight, and realized that the genius who came up with the quote on the cup needs to be fired, and here's why. It says, "Fresh beef is better than frozen." Really? Because the last time I checked Frozen was not a noun. So. Fail. Sir. That's what we call a dangling modifier. Great work commercial America.

Lastly, I was just perusing facebook, and it just drives me crazy when these ridiculous people get on acting all "i'm a super-christian!" but make a screwed up spelling mistake in their statuses when they write bible verses, like saying Jesus Chris instead of Christ. It just seems like if they were really that stoked about it all they would pay better attention.