Dear Commercial America

You're not fooling anybody: for instance, when I go into Walmart and pick up a bottle of your oh-too-early-to-be-on-the-bottle-yet Santa Coca-Cola, you can say Holiday 2009 all you want, but when you write in Spanish "Feliz Navidad," we know what you're saying: Merry Christmas. Literally, Happy Nativity; either way, you're celebrating Christmas. So what? Now we gringos can't celebrate Christmas? Give me a break. You know, I was looking forward to drowning in the delicious sugary syrup that is Coca-Cola, and I say that with all honesty, but just because of that ridiculous commercial ploy, I may just change what I drink this season. Jameson's anyone??

On a similar note, I was staring oddly at my Wendy's cup tonight, and realized that the genius who came up with the quote on the cup needs to be fired, and here's why. It says, "Fresh beef is better than frozen." Really? Because the last time I checked Frozen was not a noun. So. Fail. Sir. That's what we call a dangling modifier. Great work commercial America.

Lastly, I was just perusing facebook, and it just drives me crazy when these ridiculous people get on acting all "i'm a super-christian!" but make a screwed up spelling mistake in their statuses when they write bible verses, like saying Jesus Chris instead of Christ. It just seems like if they were really that stoked about it all they would pay better attention.

Simple

Here is something I like: shoes. Maybe that's weird coming from a guy, but you should know that I buy almost all of my shoes exclusively (love that word in this context) from Ross, where I can get such great deals as these, a pair of Simple Toemorrows, retailed at 90 bucks, for a measely 15. How can an environmentally-minded college grad with no full-time job pass this up? Impossible, really. So purchase them I had to. In case you are unaware, all of Simple shoes are organic, biodegradable, and mostly vegan (I mean most of the shoes are vegan, not partially made "veganally." I take great comfort in knowing I am helping the earth, and every time I look at my shoes, I know I've done something good that day.

Also, apparently they look funny. My roomate calls them my Emo Mocassins, so I think it only fitting that this be fused into a word, so here goes: Emocassins. You can't beat having both full words into one giant word.

Click here to visit the Simple website, and watch your world grow brighter: http://www.simpleshoes.com/index.aspx