To the Woman at Register 1, Ross, 2:46PM, Saturday:

You may think your matching short purple shorts and purse are the coolest thing since the Gaither Vocal Band, but I can assure you, miss(mrs? dunno), that I have seen pictures from 5(6?) years ago, and they definitely weren't hip then either.

PS-Neither were the snowmen hand towels you returned. Wait, why would you return hand towels? Were they a gift? Who says, you know, I need some hand towels for my bday. Seriously. Bad gift idea. So is not knowing your home well enough to buy them and them not match or something.

For the record, snowmen designs don't match your home, even in winter when your daughter brings the grandkids over to build one, which, duh, will never happen in this state.