CHINESE BUFFET.

Disclaimer:
Okay, so here's the deal. This story may not have many pictures. But I will describe things very vividly in an attempt to persuade your imagination to play along.


So, Robbie loves Chinese food. Which is weird because generally Robbie doesn't like anything but greasy American food. But recently, he's trying new things, branching out.

When I suggested Chinese food for dinner one evening when we first started dating he proceeded to tell me how his family went to a Chinese buffet for lunch every Sunday back in Alabama, but he would only eat the things that looked like chicken nuggets. I have since learned that he is referring to sweet and sour chicken, sans sweet and sour sauce.

Fast forward. Now he loves Chinese food more than me. It's very odd. Some of you know I have a weird issue with meat. Weird meat creeps me out. Don't ask me what I define as "weird meat." I eat hot dogs yet freak out over a tiny piece of fat on a piece of white-meat chicken. I think it has something to do with uniformity in texture possibly?

We occasionally eat Chinese food although I've started to avoid it all costs since it upsets my stomach more now that I'm dealing with some awful acid reflux issues. I suggested we eat the buffet close to where I work for lunch yesterday because I know he loves it and well, I get tired of eating the same bagel at Panera everyday.

I made a mental journal based on my observations while we were at the Chinese Buffet, and I'd like to share my thoughts with you now.

First, I love Cream Cheese Wontons. They are AMAZING. Out of this world amazing, yet awful for you. I usually eat like 10 of them. I only had 2 this time. It was hard. But I was saving room for lo-mein and ice cream.

As I was searching for chicken lo-mein, I passed something that looked rather out-of-the-ordinary. Mashed potatoes and gravy. I literally stopped and stared and thought WHO WOULD COME TO A CHINESE BUFFET FOR MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY? Friendz, go to Cracker Barrell.

I located my coveted lo-mein and chowed down. Then it was time for my favorite buffet item: ICE CREAM.

Walked over to the machine. OUT OF ORDER.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So, I pouted for a minute and stared at the other deserts. I saw banana pudding and got really excited. I wondered if it was reserved for the people who ate mashed potatoes and gravy for lunch but decided I could probably have some.

I sat down and quickly realized that apparently, to the Chinese Buffet Top-Chefs, the recipe for banana pudding goes something like this:

Banana-flavored pudding
Gross, nasty wafers

This further ruined my life. Obviously. Banana pudding is like sacred. Holy. I don't know, you don't eff with it like that. I was kinda offended. So then I looked at Robbie rather sheepishly and said "I need pictures for my blog so I can post about this trauma. Helpz?"

Robbie proceeded to creep around the buffet and try to take picures of things when no one was looking. We were unsuccessful. No pictures. Sad, I know.

However, I did get one blurry shot at the table of the banana pudding (minus bananas) and the random seed I found in it.



DEAR CHINESE BUFFET TOP-CHEFS,

MAYBE YOU SHOULD WORK ON NOT PUTTING A WEIRD SEED IN MY BANANA PUDDING AND WORK ON GETTING SOME BANANAS. JUST A THOUGHT.

THANKS,
AMANDA